By Keisha Stoute

Fear has a way of taking over all of us in one way or another. It plants its ugly head and prevents us from moving forward and causes remediation and participation in unhealthy stagnet relationships. When given control “fear” will take over like a disease and will leave you feeling helpless, hopeless and afraid. Everyone has a desire to want to have a relationship but when past hurts and unresolved issues thwart your goals, you must do some soul searching and reality checking. If you are still in the same situation with the same person discussing the same issues then you have not made any progress. When this occurs people are allowing themselves to stay in a state of chaos and confusion. Going backwards and revisiting yo-yo like behaviors is a recipe for disaster. Yes, people can change but change only occurs when one sees the need. Past patterns are a clear indication of future behaviors. Overcoming fear is a journey not an overnight prescription! Once you have conquered one area, life
has a way of challenging you with more.

There are different kinds of fear that we all have encountered such as fear of failure, not being loved, abandonment, rejection, acceptance etc. In order to overcome your fears you must dig deep and search for the root of your problems. During this process you will realize that what you thought was the problem is only the surface. Your issues run deeper than you anticipated and you must allow yourself time to
process. Going from one relationship to another is a bad idea and as a result
you will be taking your baggage from one person to the next. Drop your bags and 
change your plans!

Counseling is an excellent option for helping you overcome your fears and to deal with those unresolved issues. Fear is a learned behavior, with guidance and work you will triumph. In-addition to seeking help you must reevaluate your friendships and relationships to determine its purpose and to see if they are aligned with your goals. Cleaning up your personal life is a requirement not an option. Give yourself time to heal and to reflect, embrace having your own personal space and time. Do not let fear stop you from moving forward and accomplishing your goals. Take


03/11/2013 4:24pm

This is so true. Fear can ruin a relationship. That is where communication is key. Whenever one person feels fear it is important that they convey that to the other person in a loving and caring manner.


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