By Keisha Stoute

In life we all make friends but contrary to belief true friendship is hard to find. Many people call their exes, coworkers, work superiors, classmates, and business associates their friends when in fact they are not. Having something in common
  or history with someone does not constitute a friendship. When people
  deliberately set out to hurt you by doing spiteful things their true colors are shining bright. Those individuals are not your friend but your enemy! People who are jealous of you and your accomplishments can not be your friend. When you need someone to talk to your true friends are the ones who answer the call. Hello! Running someone down so that you can connect with is a waste of time.
Trying to transform someone who does not want to change is like beating a dead
horse, it is pointless. Here today and gone tomorrow individuals are not dependable and are often flaky and inconsistent. Move on!! Friendships are not
one sided where you are always giving and often come up empty handed or with
little return. True friendship does not impede on your personal growth and
should offer a healthy exchange and not yo-yo like behaviors. These same ideals
can also be applied when assessing your personal relationships. 

Friendship is kind, loving, forgiving, supportive, non-judgmental, patient, and
understanding. In order to have a healthy friendship you must have open
communication, mutual and attainable goals and objectives. True friends do not
tell you what they think you want to hear but what you need to grow! If you are
traveling down a one way street it’s time to back up and change your direction!
It is report card time and you need to evaluate where your so called friends
truly stand! Take the test and let the results speak for themselves.

 A= always    B= most of the time  C= sometimes    D=almost never    F=never

 1.     Is a person that I can trust
 2.    Is a person that I can talk to about relationships, family, work etc.
 3.    Gives fair, sound and honest advice
 4.    Displays healthy give and take and other appropriate behaviors
 5.    Is supportive of me in my endeavors
 6.    Meets my needs in this friendship or relationship
 7.    Is a person who respects me
 8.    I enjoy spending time with 
 9.    Is a person who will not deliberately hurt me or someone I love
 10.  Is a person who cares about me and my well being
 11.   Our relationship is healthy
 12.  I feel like I am being heard and my opinion is valued 
13.   Is a person who has my best interest at heart
 14.  Is a person that I see a positive future with 

What did your results reveal? Everyone needs improvement from time to time and talking about where you are and where you would like to be is a great start. When you find that you keep running into the same problems then you need to re-evaluate the relationship and make a decision. The longer you take to resolve the issue the harder it is to move forward. Always know your strengthens and weaknesses so that you can work towards change and come out on top. Knowledge is power!


Kristina Asifo
03/26/2013 11:44am

I can honestly say that I can count the number of "true" friends on 1 hand. Those who were friends in middle and high school are more like associates these days! People change and sometimes we outgrow those that cannot grow with us.

Tony P
03/27/2013 4:06pm

I 2nd what Kristina said. The older you get, the smaller your circle becomes and you don't really have to weed people out...they do it themselves. Its better to have few friends you trust, then a bunch of people who are not there for you when it really matters. One of my fav post so far.

04/16/2013 9:29pm

Great article and filled with the truth! I found myself really thinking about what you said. I guess I can count on my fingers the number of friends I had in life, not many. I've had to be my own best friend,

Keisha, you are a very talented writer! I enjoy reading your articles and really like your site. It is so creative. I just want to encourage you to keep on writing because you've got real talent!

God Bless You

Jacqueline Cyrus
06/14/2013 11:12am

Be aware of the words that you use and the actions that you display with others. You will not be alone in your assessment. Making A Good Grade


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