By Keisha Stoute

Everyone is dysfunctional at some point in time in their lives. We all have participated in unhealthy situations and exhibited undesirable behaviors but when our actions interfere with growth; awareness and change must occur. Life is like a game of chess you must study
your opponents and anticipate their next move but when you are dealing with a dysfunctional character their moves are always predictable.
Dysfunctional people often repeat patterns of nonsensical behaviors by waltzing in denial, playing the fool and not using common sense! Typical behavior is getting into trouble, getting angry about it and calling all your friends and family to complain and then returning to the same toxic situation. It is like watching a movie you have seen many times and knowing how it is going to end. These individuals repeat this behavior over and over again because they need you to support them while they dance in dysfunction.

Dysfunctional people are not dumb although they act like it. These people are very intelligent but the real reason is that they feel comfortable in damaging situations and are hopefully and wishful that things will turn around. They know that the situation is bad but often have unrealistic goals and poor reasoning skills. These individuals are insecure, have low self-esteem and have been abused and/or neglected in some form. Stop discoing in dishonesty and take a step in the right direction! Realize your truth and get the monkey off your back! The longer you stay in deceitful conditions the harder it will be for you to leave. The first step to change is to admit that you have a problem. You must take ownership and stop blaming
others and trying to figure them out. Getting into dysfunctional situations are
easy but you must learn the lesson and move forward. Do not do the dance of
dysfunction, decided that it is not worth it and boogie out the door! 
The two main things that dysfunctional people crave are attention and sympathy. They want people to feel bad for them and to blame others for what is happening. Make them take responsibility and ownership for their own actions. As a friend or family member the best thing that you can do is not to entertain the dance of
dysfunction, tell them that you are not going to enable bad behavior and change
the subject. Do not waste your precious time and energy worrying about problems
that you cannot change. Sometimes it is good to love from a distance and
eventually they will get the picture. In order for some people to change they
have to hit rock bottom and to be by themselves. Realize your limitations and
take a stand to end the tango of dysfunction. Empower yourself and remember, do
not do the dance!


06/10/2013 11:18am

Enjoyable read. One of the oldest things you hear, but still very necessary to this day is "admitting you have a problem first". That's something that always needs to be pointed out. The more we do that, the more we can change our dysfunction. Good job Keish.

06/11/2013 8:50pm

You make a lot of true statements and shed light on an issue that many of us encounter regularly. We all have to realize that when the dysfunction on someone else is negatively impacting our own lives, loving them from a distance becomes a necessity. Great post Keisha! I wish you all the best. Great things are coming your way.

Jacqueline Cyrus
06/14/2013 8:31am

Life is a dance studio- choose your dance partner(s) carefully. I agree that you should choose wisely the people who will sit on the front row of your life.


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