A Second Chance
By Keisha Stoute
In life we all do things that hurt others whether it is
intentional or not. Sometimes we are ashamed of our mistakes and wish that we could have made a better decision. The one thing that is consistent is being able to
forgive. Forgiveness is a powerful option that gives endless opportunities and great possibilities. When you forgive you are allowing yourself to heal and to possibly restore a once jilted relationship. In order for forgiveness to work correctly you must acknowledge your faults in the situation and take responsibility. Just saying “I am sorry”
is not enough. You must put yourself in the other person’s shoes and truly process what happened. Tell them
how you would have done things differently and what you have learned from the situation moving forward.
The power of forgiveness allows a second chance to occur. The key in making things possible is for both parties to allow themselves to be vulnerable and to relinquish power. In order to be close to someone you must let go of being in control and just let things flow.
People often look back on life and have serious regrets. Often times when tragedy happens it makes you appreciate what you have or had and exposures what you have taken for granted. Each day gives you an opportunity to make positive and meaningful decisions. Do not let fear of looking bad keep you from enjoying happiness. When you forgive you are giving a clean slate and should not constantly hold on to the past. Life is like a flower, the more you water it the more it will grow and blossom into something beautiful. Make it count!
intentional or not. Sometimes we are ashamed of our mistakes and wish that we could have made a better decision. The one thing that is consistent is being able to
forgive. Forgiveness is a powerful option that gives endless opportunities and great possibilities. When you forgive you are allowing yourself to heal and to possibly restore a once jilted relationship. In order for forgiveness to work correctly you must acknowledge your faults in the situation and take responsibility. Just saying “I am sorry”
is not enough. You must put yourself in the other person’s shoes and truly process what happened. Tell them
how you would have done things differently and what you have learned from the situation moving forward.
The power of forgiveness allows a second chance to occur. The key in making things possible is for both parties to allow themselves to be vulnerable and to relinquish power. In order to be close to someone you must let go of being in control and just let things flow.
People often look back on life and have serious regrets. Often times when tragedy happens it makes you appreciate what you have or had and exposures what you have taken for granted. Each day gives you an opportunity to make positive and meaningful decisions. Do not let fear of looking bad keep you from enjoying happiness. When you forgive you are giving a clean slate and should not constantly hold on to the past. Life is like a flower, the more you water it the more it will grow and blossom into something beautiful. Make it count!
It's not Complicated; The Difficulties with Confrontation
By Keisha Stoute
Everyone has experienced confrontation whether they liked it or not. Majority of the time when one thinks of confrontation people immediately plot ways to avoid it as much as possible.Our biggest fear is not getting the results that we want and being disappointed. No one wants to be exposed of something that they may have done but having to deal with conflict is inevitable (no free pass here). The biggest reasons why confrontations are not successful is that both parties fail to exhibit active listening skills, will not accept responsibility for their actions and are not honest with themselves or others. As a result of unsuccessful attempts "conflict" receives a bad reputation and is often viewed in a negative way. From unproductive working and personal relationships to dealing with
inappropriate neighbors these tips are useful.
1. Define the problem and the outcome you expect
Defining the problem is imperative. You must pin point what you think the issue is and how you can
resolve it. When speaking to the parties involved you must use "I" statements to describe your feelings. Be specfic.
Example: I feel like I am not getting help around the house and I would like you to pitch in by washing the dishing 3 days a weeks.
2. Listen
Give the parties involved an opportunity to respond to your opening statements and request. The key in this step is not to interrupt others when they are talking. This is especially hard for people when feelings and emotions are involved. Zip your lips!!! It is also helpful to put yourself in the other person's shoes so that you can understand their point of view.
3. Accept responsibility/ be honest
People are more receptive to change and compromise when you take responsibilities for your actions
Example: I know that I hurt your feelings and I am truly sorry for not being honest and considerate. I was being
selfish.
4. Clarify
Use this step to clarify any misunderstandings that may have clouded your judgment concerning this situation.
Example: I thought that you did not like me because you rarely spoke to me at work and did not invite me to
lunch.
5. Compromise
When dealing with conflict you may not get what you want but you are given options. Two heads are better than one! If people are willing, change can occur. Use this time to find a middle ground. Coming to a resolution may not happen over night but when you keep the lines of communication open anything is possible!
Dealing with conflict can be an opportunity to rebuild and define relationships. It can also strengthen communication skills. It's not complicated.
inappropriate neighbors these tips are useful.
1. Define the problem and the outcome you expect
Defining the problem is imperative. You must pin point what you think the issue is and how you can
resolve it. When speaking to the parties involved you must use "I" statements to describe your feelings. Be specfic.
Example: I feel like I am not getting help around the house and I would like you to pitch in by washing the dishing 3 days a weeks.
2. Listen
Give the parties involved an opportunity to respond to your opening statements and request. The key in this step is not to interrupt others when they are talking. This is especially hard for people when feelings and emotions are involved. Zip your lips!!! It is also helpful to put yourself in the other person's shoes so that you can understand their point of view.
3. Accept responsibility/ be honest
People are more receptive to change and compromise when you take responsibilities for your actions
Example: I know that I hurt your feelings and I am truly sorry for not being honest and considerate. I was being
selfish.
4. Clarify
Use this step to clarify any misunderstandings that may have clouded your judgment concerning this situation.
Example: I thought that you did not like me because you rarely spoke to me at work and did not invite me to
lunch.
5. Compromise
When dealing with conflict you may not get what you want but you are given options. Two heads are better than one! If people are willing, change can occur. Use this time to find a middle ground. Coming to a resolution may not happen over night but when you keep the lines of communication open anything is possible!
Dealing with conflict can be an opportunity to rebuild and define relationships. It can also strengthen communication skills. It's not complicated.