Sizzling Summer Dating Series June-August 2013

By Keisha Stoute

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Relationships are a work in progress. Good and bad times exist but it is how you deal with each situation. Often times certain behaviors put a strain on the relationship and makes it difficult for you to be successful. Mistakes are inevitable and some will cost you more than a sorry I messed up hallmark card and flowers. Many people fall into the slippery traps of giving out too much information because someone appears to be supportive. You must remember; all attention is not good intentions! Use your head and not your heart. Choose your words carefully and consider your source. These notorious slip-ups ruin opportunities for growth and prevent you from experiencing true happiness. 


1.  Telling too much of your personal business. 
This is the most common relationship mistake. When you tell people your business
they will empathize with you and on the other hand they judge your situation and
will use what you said against you at a later date. There is nothing wrong with
confiding in someone but be cautious who it is and make sure that they are
person that you can trust and someone that won’t judge. Knowledge is
power!


 2. Giving people power over your relationship.
This is a big one! When you have too many people involved in your business, your
opinion gets lost by what everyone else thinks. You are in control, so leave 
friends, family, and coworkers out of your business. Stay away from strong
headed and domineering personalities who always have opinions and give
unsolicited advice.


 3. Seeking advice from unreliable sources.
Everyone needs guidance but seeking advice from unqualified people is damaging. No one is perfect but choose people that are healthy minded and have a good philosophy and experience on the topic at hand. Do not seek advice from dysfunctional people who can’t even get their life in order. Pick reliable sources that you can learn from.

 4. Comparing your relationship to others.
Everyone has a story of how they found love and how they function in their relationship. What works for them, may not work for you. Be careful not to compare your current relationship with previous relationships. Leave your past behind and focus on making the present positive and successful.  Embrace
your own uniqueness and don’t be concerned about the affairs of others.
Appreciate who you are and what you have.


 5. Repeating dysfunctional patterns. 
Often times you do things because of habit and don’t realize the history behind
your behaviors. Patterns are meant to be broken and you must have a good sense
of self-awareness to break it. Don’t do the dance of dysfunction! 
Find appropriate ways to tackle dysfunctional behaviors such as seeking
professional help and doing the necessary work. 


Don’t let these notorious mistakes be the reason why your relationship failed. If you have been guilty of these offenses decide today to make a positive change. Empower yourself with the right tools and support system. Learn to trust your own opinion and be a good judge of character. Create a new path for having healthy and lasting relationships.


 


Comments

TonyP
07/29/2013 3:39pm

GREAT tips for making your relationship better. Number's 1 and 4 are my fav. Involving people in your business seems the most popular of why relationships do not work. Privacy is so underrated but def necessary.

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Joy (Sista' Joy) Foster
07/29/2013 11:20pm

Keisha,

I really enjoyed your article. Even at this age, I can use some of your wise advice! Thanks. . .

Sista' Joy!

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