By Keisha Stoute

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In life there are people who are watching you like a hawk. Everyone has an opinion but critical people judge you without cause and offer unsolicited advice.

These individuals are professional observers who study the psychology of their friends, family, coworkers etc. and are critical on you when you make a mistake. One false move and you are finished. Freeze hands in the air! It is funny when people are quick to give advice but cannot follow their own. Hello double standard! They point the finger at you and do not realize that several are pointed back at them. The old cliché says that people in glass houses should not throw stones. It is easier to see everyone else’s faults but when someone points out yours, you become defensive and the litany of excuses roll out. They are also hard to please and are never really happy.

Critical people often look at others under a microscope to see what they can find. A microscope provides an enhanced vision of things that the naked eye cannot see. They come up with phony assumptions based off of delusional and unfounded beliefs of others. These individuals go that extra mile to discover the dirt because they are bored, insecure nit-pickers. This personality type makes you feel like you are being prosecuted for a crime that you did not commit. The judge and jury have reached a verdict and you are guilty as charged! Critical people are hard on you because they are really hard on themselves.  They do not take their own advice and are often hypocrites. Busted! Majority of the time these individuals are not proud of where they are and feel the need to deflect the attention. The buck stops here!
Here are some useful tips… 

1.  Speak up and let them know how you feel.
Critical people must know that what they say is hurtful. Put them in their place. Express yourself in safe and professional manner. Use “I” statements to describe your feelings.

 2.  Know who you are dealing with. Do not expect people to change and to be somebody that they are not. Accept them for who they are. Is this a healthy situation to be in?

 3.  Distance yourself. Provide distance and reflect on the value of the relationship. Is it worth saving?

 4.   Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoe. The reason why people are critical of others is because they do not want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Critical people want to put others down in order raise themselves up. Try to think of others in a positive way. 

We all makes mistakes but what we should take from each situation is experience. Do not judge others in less you want people to judge you. Help each other out and
provide encouragement. Life has a way of coming back around. Break the cycle of
being critical!

 


Comments

04/03/2013 1:18pm

What a great article . I found myself smiling and nodding my head. You are quite a creative writer and I especially liked the fact that you left some tips for us to follow. . . You Go Girl!

Sista' Joy
adviceforwisewomen.typepad.com

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Tony P
04/04/2013 12:06pm

Enjoyed this post. One of my favs so far. And those tips are PERFECT for dealing with critical aka judgmental people.

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